This is the big problem. Guys are just SUPER open against this team all the time lately. The opposing OC dials up a play to scheme someone open, and no Jet is even in their area code when it all is said and done. We’re a man defense asking a lot of our secondary/pass defense. Sometimes they’re up for the task, and even when they’re not it’s more of a “Houston Texans Official NFL Elmo Fan 3D Shirt who isn’t talented enough to execute perfectly all the time” situation. I can live with Stiggers or whoever playing the ball and missing while the WR makes a catch or something. It’s how fucking OPEN these receivers are that’s pissing me off about this. There’s no CHANCE for someone to make a pick. And that’s on scheme.

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Cowher’s about the only Steelers championship legend that got out on time. They kept that 00s defense around way too long. It was sad seeing James Farrior looking like a JV player trying to keep up with Ray Rice or Ike Taylor getting burned for 70 yards every other game while the fans in the front row waved their Houston Texans Official NFL Elmo Fan 3D Shirt in celebration. Even Dick LeBeau himself was here coaching a scheme that had long been solved by the league. Big Ben should have been dumped to Arizona or Tampa Bay in 2018 instead of resigned to live out his personal John Elway fantasy.

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The Atlanta Falcons unironically broke the NFL regular season record with 13 wins, went 30-0 in the first half against the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs, gained a 28-3 lead on the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and then lost the lead and did not win the championship. Matt Ryan unironically won unanimous MVP, back to back MVPs, and exclaimed “We not goin’ home!” during a game, before being blocked by LeBrady a record 7 times in one series and indeed going home. Julio Jones unironically said in a post game interview after going up 28-3 that football “is a man’s game” and LeTom Brady “got his feelings hurt”, LeMVP proceeded to average 36pts/12ast/10reb and won the next 3 games and the championship. These things all actually happened, the thoughts of this reality stay with me at all times. I go to sleep at night looking up at the stars, wondering what celestial being aligned the universe in such a way to make an event as amazing as Houston Texans Official NFL Elmo Fan 3D Shirt occur. I wake up smiling every morning knowing that the Falcons genuinely went 13-5 and choked a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. That even if time is a nonlinear fourth dimension, going to back to stop it from happening will simply create another universe where it happens again. That the state of ass-blastedness emanating from the city of Atlanta is eternal and infinite, it crosses countless dimensions of the multiverse and its unending torment knows no bounds. I gaze into the endless cosmic wonders around me, still in disbelief that it actually happened, but knowing that my purpose in life was to be born just in time to see LeGod get one for da land.